1. I have learned that I am a selfish person.
*When Andrew and I said "I do" on our wedding day, I thought I was a very giving, patient, unselfish person. Boy was I wrong even after 5 years of marriage. I realize that I like to be "right" at most times, like to have my way, and I like to be selfish with my time. Marriage has made me realize that I have to look after Andrew's needs/wants/desires and curbing my own selfishness. This doesn't mean I am going to lay down and let Andrew walk all over me, but I have to think about what he is feeling and how it will affect our marriage and him.
2. I have learned that communication is key.
*Yes, I knew that from when we were dating, but it is much more important in marriage. I had to learn and still learning that I need to explain my thinking to Andrew, what I am feeling, and let him know if there is something I do not like or something I do like. I also have learned that when we communicate, we learn more about each other and how we can serve each other.
3. I have learned I have a long way to go as a wife.
*I am not perfect, never have been and never will be. I have learned about 1% of what it takes to be an excellent wife, but I am still learning. I am still learning what it means to give to Andrew and to serve Andrew with all that I have. My main goal right now is to serve Andrew and compliment Andrew, but ultimately to serve the Lord as His daughter and Andrew's wife. I have learned that I am not here to change Andrew, but I am here to change myself and pray for my husband to be the leader God intends him to be.
4. I have learned to let others into our marriage to pray for us, to help us out, and to encourage us along the way.
*It is no secret that we have struggled these past five years.We have experienced no jobs at the same time for both of us, both of us being in graduate school together, a few big moves, health problems, and the list goes on. I can say though we have learned to let others in our marriage to let us grow from them, encourage us, to pray for us, and to let us be helped out when we needed it. I have learned that letting others help isn't a bad thing, it is letting us learn what it takes to be in community with others while letting the Lord use us where we are and use others in our lives to learn from.
5. I have learned that we have to let God work in us.
*This living away from family thing isn't the most ideal. It isn't fun to hear from our families that they are doing certain things and we do not get to partake in the fun or the activities. BUT the best thing about living away from them is that we have learned to be more of a couple, to let God work in us, and let Him mold the marriage that He intended. Andrew and I have grown more this past year than we have in the first four years of our marriage. It wasn't us by ourselves doing the work, the Lord was working in us and that was by taking us away from our families, church family, friends, and growing us away from them.
There are many other lessons that I am learning or will learn, but these ones right now have stuck out to me. I am thankful that God is not done with me yet. I am thankful Andrew prays for me on a daily basis, encourages me, lets me be silly, but most of all wants me to seek the Lord and trust the Lord to do the work in me as Andrew and I walk together in this thing called marriage.
Happy fifth year to the HIGH-FIVE Andrew! I love you!
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